1. I have three children in camp this summer. For six weeks each. That costs one million dollars.

2. My children buy lunch every day at camp. We give each child 10 dollars in the morning. Each comes home in the afternoon with 12 to 37 cents.

3. There is a vending machine at camp that takes “I don’t know how much money,” according to my six year old.

4. We go through 15 towels a week for swimming at camp. How many towels do I own? Nine.

5. One of my children is sometimes chosen “Camper of the Day” and gets a prize for being extra nice to everyone that day. I have two other children who spend four hours trying to beat that child up and take his or her prize.

6. We have three weeks of camp left. But five weeks before school starts. That leaves a difference of three months in “I’m-bored-what-are-we-doing-today-can-we-go-someplace-fun-I-want-my-iPad” time.