I want to talk about these Dove commercials that everyone is going crazy about. Or maybe it’s one commercial. I don’t know because I don’t watch a lot of television. (Oh my god RIGHT?! I mean, I don’t watch a lot of live television. I am smart enough to use a DVR.)
So all the ladies on the block love this ad campaign, and I understand why. It shows, very clearly, that women are our own harshest critics. Strangers are kinder and more generous with compliments than we can be when speaking of our own looks. Okay yes, sure.
So I decided to do my own not-at-all-similar experiment.
Part 1.
I am going to describe to you what I think my face looks like. Right here.
Kind of like a brunette Gwyneth Paltrow.
High cheekbones. Movie star kind of mouth. Full lips, strong eye brows. Sophisticated beauty but still youthful and cute, like Ashley Judd. Totally, I look like Ashley Judd.
Possibly a little Juliana Margulies. My skin is very smooth like hers. My hair is very thick and full. And it totally frames my face. In a word, “understated glamor.”
I can’t want to see how this turns out!
Seriously. I can’t believe I never thought of doing this before.
It’s going to be very interesting.
Part 2.
Now I will take a photograph on my iPhone and forward it to my email without looking at it. I will upload it to my blog and place it here:
I will now assess it.
And… I look like a man.
Dove’s slogan for this campaign is “You are more beautiful than you think.” Which is great, and I am certain, true. Except for me. Fuckers.
This post was written for fun and in avoidance of hard deadlines, so don’t send me hate comments, okay? I use Dove products and respect its “Real Beauty” campaign.
Mama One to Three 
I laughed out loud.
I was having a lot of tech issues with this for some reason. I finally was able to update it– 😉
This is funny, but you are still lovely. Obviously those other celebrity pics (with make up and hair-styling) were not taken with an iphone! The tech issue I can understand and commiserate.
hilarious!
You are so funny! And wrong. Because I met you IRL, and you are beautiful in person!!!
Estelle
thank you and likewise– but I am not kidding. I ALWAYS think I am going to look like Courtney Cox (another one) when I look at a photo of myself. (I never do.) xo
You are so funny. But I met you IRL, and you are beautiful, not at all like your frowny picture!
Estelle
You are too funny!
Awesome post:) You are beautiful and no one look good on a random selfie on an iphone:)
thank you! 🙂
This is even better than the Dove Male parody. Love you sense of humor pretty lady 🙂
You are too sweet. They did a great job w that – not far fr the truth! 😉
OMG. This is a riot and I love your blog already and this is only the first post I’ve read!!
Actually, I think you’re lookin’ like a hot Sandra Bullock!