My oldest and I had a picnic lunch outside today. Here’s how that went.
Can you please take your shoes off before you step on the blanket?
Mommy there are bugs on the blanket.
It’s fine. Please stop bunching the blanket up. Eat your sandwich please.
MOMMY THERE’S A BEE ON YOU!
If you don’t eat your sandwich we will never do this again.
Do bees like shade or sun? Let’s ask the bee if it likes sun or shade. You first mommy.
Bee-do-you-like-sun-or-shade? Please just eat your sandwich.
My feet are dirty. I want to see your feet.
We will clean them inside. Just eat your sandwich. I made that for you. Eat the sandwich or we’re going home.
I like the sandwich open with two parts.
Fine, open the sandwich. Don’t touch your feet.
I DON’T LIKE THIS SANDWICH! Mommy can we go to sleep outside?
Yes, you can go to sleep on the blanket.
You too.
No, I am not going to sleep outside. I will watch you. Take one more bite of your sandwich and lie down.
The trees are hiding the sun. Now I am hiding the sun, mommy.
That’s great sweetheart. Isn’t it nice to eat lunch outside?
Mommy I have to poop.
Mama One to Three 
I laughed out loud 🙂
She sounds a little like someone I used to know… eh-hem… it’s you
and you always trying to get me to eat a sandwich. sigh.
my favorite “mommy i have to poop” classic. cute post!
it never fails. not ever.
Ha! Sounds about right. We’re definitely headed in that direction 😉
sarah, I think the first step is rockin’ the potty around town!
JUST EAT THE SANDWICH MOLLY!..ha ha
Our picnics go about that smoothly, too. What is it with kids wanting to open their friggin’ sandwiches?!
This is hilarious…and makes me feel SO much better that my “idyllic” parent-child moments don’t always turn out the way I planned either! I’m so happy to have found your blog via Twitter. Good stuff!